by johnwish . Understanding А part 1 It must have been only yesterday that I thought that the cold ocean would never leave my life. I believed it would hold my heart and soul in its frozen grip forever, and I didn’t know what I could do about it. However today I realized that the huge refrigerator had stopped working. In the short time I spent sitting with Jack, the ocean became warm, filling my soul with joy and happiness. I I have only experienced such happiness a few times, in my childhood. Jack. How wonderful it is that he’s here by my side: Jack, the same guy I knew from school! Of course, I never thought that he could ever become so significant to me. I had a strange feeling: as though I had drunk some dry wine, though I had never drunk alcohol in my life. We are sitting comfortably on the sofa, chatting about sports, drinking Coca-Cola, and it’s not at all important that I don’t understand half of what he’s saying. What is important is that for some reason I’m clearly coming to realize that all this time while my soul has been free of care, Jack has been somewhere nearby, supporting me. “This was Bill,” says Jack. “As a youth he began playing American football like all the other boys. Bill was an extremely stylish guy. Every day that summer he trained for the game with the champions of California. When he began to have some success it seemed to him that it made him even more attractive and handsome. Bill managed to get the whole team going. His adrenaline was at peak level and he had strength to spare. Many people hated him, but many loved him too. Such energy was supposed never to end. And here I stand in front of him by his hospital bed and he tells me in a weak voice, almost crying, “I was trying to preserve my energy, but failed. I thought it would last me for a long time. I never thought I’d die, much less become an invalid. I don’t know what happened, Jack. I was absolutely sure we’d win. I had everything worked out. First I charged the first offense. I hit the left side of his body with my left elbow and with my right elbow hit down at him. It was dead easy to do that. After my hit he fell immediately. I knew it was illegal, it wasn’t ethical, but that’s the game. I hit another player the same way. But then a third player came after me, the huge black captain, and anxiety of some kind played a dirty trick on me. I tried the same approach with my left elbow against this black machine, and felt that it had worked… But th